Family Man's Secret Headquarters
Leave your masks at the door.

Archive for October 2009

The 10 Things a Man Should Absolutely Live Without

October 21, 2009

10. Thong sandals – It has the word thong in it.  That should be enough. 9. Feminism –  We get it, your our equal.  Now stop acting like a girl about it. 8. Briefs – Why is this still an option?  You can wear boxers, or boxer brief.  Unless you can body slam a man […]

The Cleveland Show Racist? Shocking!

October 19, 2009

This has nothing to do with that fact that the toddler on the show just happens to be the pimp to Stewie’s evil.  This isn’t about Cleveland picking up the pieces in a home ruined by a baby-daddy.  I could care less that the teenage daughter is one “oops” away from preggo-ville.  Or that Cleveland […]

The NBA Changes Rule On Traveling To Exactly What It Was Before.

October 16, 2009

Gee, thanks for clearing that up guys.  I was really confused.  This handy video tells me nothing. I’ve got some other ambiguous “unwritten rules” you might want to make written while you’re at it. How about you clear up the whole charge vs. blocking fiasco.  Is he right?  or is he just dead wrong? Do […]

How Do You Like Your Action Movie: Great Acting or Great Action?

October 15, 2009

Would you rather have a great actor fake fighting in a movie or a great fighter fake acting in a movie? I thought about this because I saw the preview for Book of Eli starring Denzel Washington.  I love Denzel.  But not enough to buy him as an action star.  Not a Jackie-Chan-action-star anyway.  I […]

Stop Texting and Watch Your Children

October 9, 2009

Oh my God.  You know when your driving down the highway and texting and then your car veers to one side until you roll over those turtles or divots like, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba? Oh you don’t?  Well good for you then. Anyway, today I saw a woman do that while she was pushing a child’s stroller.  Seriously.  […]

B to Z Guide to Becoming Your Own Action Hero update 10.7.09

October 7, 2009

So I finally completed my first step in becoming my own action hero! Work Out – Meet Standard Police Fitness Requirements Old Standings 300 meter run: 62 seconds Push-ups (1 min time limit): 35 Sit-ups (1 minute time limit): 38 1.5 mile run: 15:07 So since doing the last test about a month ago, I […]

10 Stupid Things Men Just Can’t Live Without

October 6, 2009

10. Bigotry – I don’t know what it is about us, but we love to harass each other.  It’s funny.  Quite being so soft.  It doesn’t mean we’re bigots or racist or whatever, it just means we think slurs are funny.  And we’re a little mean. P.S. – Stop putting that s— on facebook and […]

McNabb vs. Limbaugh Pt. II

October 6, 2009

What’s the over/under on how long it’ll take the NFL to put St. Louis on the Eagles schedule if Rush Limbaugh is allowed to buy Rams?  Next year?  Week 5 perhaps?  Sunday or Monday night football?  The only thing more awesome than that would be if Rush actually decided to line up on the defensive […]

I Wish The Media Would Stop Giving Out Wedgies

October 5, 2009

Boy, be careful out there if you are a celebrity…wait correction, be careful out there if you are a hated celebrity.  When did it become okay for repressed nobodies with media platforms to stick there big a– “almighty” noses in the air, waging their sinful little fingers at celebrities caught up in trivial bulls—, just […]

People Are Crazy, X-Men Origins: Wolverine was Awesome!

October 5, 2009

Family approved for children 6 and up. Spoiler time! The story was incredible.  That’s right I said it.  In 107 minutes I saw my man Logan grow up, get recruited by the Weapon X program, quit when he saw how f’d up it was, suffer the repercussions of quitting and go on a quest for […]