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Teed Off Thursday: Men’s Rooms, NBA MVP’s & Olympic Medals

3-2-1…1-2-3…what the heck…is bothering me?  At least this week.

1) How do you miss a urinal?

I now know why bathrooms have black floors.  It’s to piss me off.  I hate when you walk into a men’s room and there is a puddle underneath the urinal, but the black floor keeps you from identifying the liquid.  Part of you hopes it’s water from a leaking pipe, but be serious…it’s a puddle under a urinal.  You know what it is.

And who the hell gets to the urinal and then decides, “no thanks, I’d rather pee on the floor.”  How f—in’ drunk do you have to be to miss a urinal?  You practically just stick your junk inside a box.  They have brought the toilet up to you!  It’s point blank range, there is no aim necessary.

And it’s even worse when the floor liquid is half drying.  How long has it been there?  No one comes in to clean this up?  Shameless.

2) the NBA MVP debate has turned into an ass kissing contest.

I’m tired of the smoke and mirrors.  All week I’ve been hearing how Kevin Durant has made his way into the MVP “discussion” like that’s some kind of accomplishment.  Like he can put “the discussion” on his mantle and show his grandkids.  And do you know why he’s in “the discussion?”  Because he’s a hot young star on the rise and if all these lame ass reporters want to be able to get interviews with him in 5 years they need to be able to say, “I never doubted your skills.”  There is nothing to lose if you praise a guy and he doesn’t pan out.  Not even credibility.

But these reporters would never give the MVP to Kevin Durant this year because “he has plenty of time to win one later.”  That’s bullsh– too.   Either you’re an MVP type of player or your not.  I don’t care if you’re 16 years old or you’re 40 preparing for your curtain call or if you won the award 5 times in a row.  This isn’t that plate of brownies your mom made for everyone in your second grade class to share, it’s a f—in’ earned award.  If you earn it, you get it!  It’s that’s simple.  Now “how” you earn it is a completely different argument.

3) Losers should not get medals.  I’m looking at you silver and bronze.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand loser trophies.  You never really see NFL or NBA teams showing off their conference championship trophies.  All that means is that they lost in the Super Bowl or Finals.  You never see Dwyane Wade sporting his third place MVP finish.  So why do Olympians show off their silver and bronze?  My high school yearbook quote was, “I don’t mind coming in second as long as no one else is first.”  Second place is the first loser.

This is not a beauty padget where the runner up could become Miss America if the reigning champion gets sick, breaks the rules or opposes gay marriage.  In sport, if you lose you lose.  Silver and bronze makes athlete content with “placing.”  That is not what competition is about.  I’m not saying you can’t be happy finishing 2 out of a field of 8 — impressive — all I’m saying is you shouldn’t get a f—in’ prize for it.

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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2 Responses to “Teed Off Thursday: Men’s Rooms, NBA MVP’s & Olympic Medals”

  1. […] Teed Off Thursday: Men's Rooms, NBA MVP's & Olympic Medals … […]

  2. sorry but you can”t change Olympic tradition but thanks for trying (BTW I DISAGREE, 2ND AND 3RD PLACE SHOULD WIN)


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