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Teed Off Thursday: Potheads, Scott Lago & Tony Kornheiser

3-2-1…1-2-3…what the heck…is bothering me?  At least this week.

1) You know you smoke too much weed if you can’t get to work until 11 am

That’s just ridiculous.  So I was trying to rent something from an independently own video store here in Los Angeles (for work of course, who goes to video stores anymore? Netflix!  And even Blockbuster has Total Access) and I come to find out the video store doesn’t open until 11 am.  Are you f—in’ serious?  We all know that video store workers are probably the biggest potheads on the planet, but functional potheads can still get to work at a f—in’ decent hour.  10am at the latest.

If you can’t get your ass out of bed and to work until 11am, you should probably take a long hard look at your life and think about what your missing.  Oh and by the way, the video store in question closes at 6pm.  That’s not even a 8 hour workday!  Before you factor in lunch!  What the f— are they doing?  Wake up – smoke weed – go to work –  go home – smoke weed – smoke more weed – go to sleep – repeat.  Okay, I don’t say this much, but these people don’t deserve life.  I’m sorry it’s true.

2) Scott Lago is a kid.  Let him enjoy his life.

I must have been asleep a lot longer then I thought, because apparently I woke up in a world where everyone is perfect.  Or at least everyone not interesting enough to be followed around by cameras is perfect.  But since I’ve obviously been sleeping, can anyone out there tell me what’s the controversy with Scott Lago’s photos?  Did you not earn the damn medals?  He can do what he wants with them.  I don’t care if he dropped trou and used them as a d— hoola hoop.  They are his medals.

Or a better question, what’s different about the snowboarders photos?  Athletes have been behaving that way since the beginning of time.  I guarantee you that even back in Rome’s heyday, the gladiators got drunk and murdered peasants for the fun of it from time to time.  It just wasn’t caught by TMZ.  Shoot, a 60-year-old Joe Namath did this on live TV.  Could you imagine the snapshots that would have been captured on his iphone at age 21?  The only athlete in the history of sports that was probably squeaky clean would be Jackie Robinson.  And that’s because he had no f—in’ choice.

Can we relax a little and just let kids be kids?  Or better yet, let parents, parent.  Why does everyone try to scrutinize young people, judge them and punish them like it’s their business?  If I was Scott Lago’s dad or older brother (I’m not that old), yes we’d have a talk.  But to send the kid home is ridiculous.  How about you just take away his friends iphone.

3) ESPN is suspending Tony Kornheiser for what?

What you pay him to do?  Tony Kornheiser is paid to be be funny and analyze people.  Is that not what he did to Hannah Storm?  Tony is the guy you pay to talk about American Idol.  A music show that couldn’t be further away from sports, that’s not on your network, nor a part of your parent company’s — Disney — olive branch.  But he can’t criticize a woman’s — who happens to be an ESPN employee — wardrobe or age?  Is that really worth a suspension?  Couldn’t you have just gave Hannah Storm the floor to retaliate?  Or let Michael Wilbon, his Pardon the Interruption (PTI) partner, take her side in a rebuttal?  Do we really need to suspend anyone who says anything negative?

I understand these guys are not professional — or even amateur — comedians, but give me a f—in’ break.  It damages your credibility ESPN.  People already believe that ESPN’s mouthpieces are censored by the powers-that-be and forbidden to speak ill of golden boys like Brett Favre, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning.  Your just making it worse by censoring a juvenile heckling.  I mean if he can’t say that, he damn sure can’t be honest about what he thinks of the way ESPN covers Monday Night Football.  It’s a slippery slop.  You pay these guys to banter.  That means someone has to say something stupid or why else would we watch?

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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