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Surrogates Needs a Surrogate. Smart Original Not Fit To Be Seen in Public.

Just like the Surrogates, this movie tries too hard.

Family approved for ages 10 and up

I can’t say that I had high expectation for Surrogates, but I did have expectations and it damn sure didn’t meet them.  How do you cast Bruce Willis as a futuristic cop and not let him do any futuristic cop sh–?  There were what…maybe two action sequences in the entire movie.  Oh and by the way…neither of them was at the climax.

And preachy much, Jonathan Mostow?  Damn.  Tell us how you really feel about social networking via the internet.  I mean geez, I don’t like societies over-obsession with virtual communication either (I type as I blog on the net) but I’m not trying to tell people what to do or what to think.  At least not like Surrogates resolution.

I compare Surrogates to I, Robot — which I loved — and Surrogates just doesn’t stack up.  I, Robot had action, suspense, mystery, plot twists and at the end…nobody said Robots were bad or good.  Sure Will Smith hated them, but he was countered by Robertson’s infatuation with robots and at the end…Will Smith’s character came to accept the robots while remaining aware of their dangers.  Ambigious.  Let the audience decide what they should think.

So what stood out about Surrogates?:

  • It was very visual to find out that the hot blonde the kid thought he was leaving the club with was actually a fat middle-aged pedophile.  Very true.  Happens all the time in chats.  Makes me cringe.  Makes me want to hug my kids.
  • It was stupid to say that 98% of the world population is using surrogates considering that today, there is no way 98% of the United States — let alone the whole world — uses a computer…or even electricity for that matter.
  • It was funny to see Bruce Willis beat the hell out of someones surrogate while they laughed it him.  We all know “internet gangsters.”  I hate them.
  • Oh and speaking of I, Robot…did you notice that the same guy who created those robots created the surrogates?  And twice, he had to kill himself to protect society from his inventions.  You’d think he’d have learned by now to stop doing that sh–.

All in all I’m glad the movie ended with virtually no possibility for a sequel.  However it was such a good premise and so poorly executed that it leaves room for a reboot and that makes me sad.

Final grade: D+

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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