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March Badness 2009 Sweet 16

Welcome to the sweet 16 of March BADness!

In 2009 we took the 64 baddest movie characters on the planet, ranked them by notoriety (from Icons to cult heroes), and pitted them against each other in the ultimate tournament to see who is the biggest baddass in the history of cinema! Let’s get ready to rumble!

Round 1

Round 2

In round 2 we seperated the men from the boys…and girls and then exposed pretenders as 9 seeds Mrs. Smith and Riddick moved on along with Casey Ryback of Under Siege.  Now it’s time to pick thee elite characters in the pack!

Click here to view an enlarged sweet 16 bracket

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VS.

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(1) BATMAN vs. (4) JACK SPARROW

Battle: The real question here is how does Jack beat Batman?  The answer is, he can’t.  He couldn’t manipulate the bat, he couldn’t befriend the bat, you couldn’t be more physical than the bat and the bottom line is he’s not tougher than the Bat, which is what this competition is all about.

Batman by a mile.
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(9) MRS. SMITH vs. (4) SHAFT

Battle: Very interesting matchup here, you have sexiest badass ever versus the most macho badass ever.  The tale of the tape is neck and neck, but just like with all fighter you have to ask yourself, who did they beat? On one hand Mrs. Smith fought her own husband to a stale mate and then took out a bunch of henchmen.  Shaft has beaten drug kingpins and the like as well as demolishing their henchmen.  The edge goes to Shaft, can ya’ dig it?

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(11) CASEY RYBACK vs. (2) MAXIMUS

Battle: At it’s core this battle is soldier vs. soldier.  One man wrecking crew vs. one man wrecking crew.  On one hand Ryback blew up submarines, dissected trains and survived freezing cold waters.  On the other hand Maximus defeated armies survived slavery.  But you know what, Maximus’s fighting spirit was severely damaged and Ryback’s never wavered.  I’m calling an upset here.  Ryback by the narrowest of margin’s.
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(9) RIDDICK vs. (4) JASON BOURNE

Battle: An intergalactic killer goes up against a guy who hunts international terrorist.  I had to think about this one for a long time and here’s the conclusion that I reached.  As kick ass as Jason Bourne is he has one major flaw in a badass competition, one thing the other 15 badass on this list cannot claim…he is marriage material.  Aside from being shot at, he’s kind of the perfect guy isn’t he?  He’s been loving them for years…never leaves ’em.  He’s not the bad boy, he’s the guy you take home to mama.  Riddick can give a girl that danger rush and make the guys think twice about stepping on his toes.  Advantage Riddick.
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(6) ASH vs. (2) JOHN MCCLANE

Battle: This is probably the most intriguing matchup of them all.  There is really no way to compare them to each other, so I just gotta go with my gut.  Who is more badass?  John McClane screwed up everything else in his life, but the one thing he was born to do was be a cop and stop the bad guys.  he don’t screw that up.  Ash stood face to face with evil, but my gut says McClane just doesn’t lose.
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(1) JAMES BOND vs. (4) SARAH CONNOR

Battle: Really, when it’s all said and done, James Bond was an unstoppable force when he locked onto a target.  Sarah Connor spent most of her time as a target on the run.  James Bond is just a little more clever than and brainless futuristic robot.  Bond wins.
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(3) ELLEN RIPLEY vs. (2) JOHN RAMBO

Battle: Boy would this be the domestic dispute of all times or what?  Could you image Rambo trying to hit Ripley?  But at the end of the day Rambo was an awesome killing machine.  Advantage Rambo.
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VS.

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(3) JOKER vs. (2) LARA CROFT

Battle: Holy smokes this is a clash of the titans!  This could have easily been a finals match up and I wouldn’t be mad at that.  But seeing as how it’s now lets dive in.  Joker is probably thee most sadistic killer any city has ever seen, but the only reason he’s still alive is because Batman refuses to kill him, and can you really be badass when you don’t even control your own fate?  Lara Croft on the other hand would probably have little trouble ending the clowns life.  the trump card is this…Joker would go insane trying to get that coldhearted b—- Lara to crack a damn smile causing him to make a mistake and get killed.

Click here to view an enlarged bracket for the elite 8

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ELITE 8 AHEAD —->

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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4 Responses to “March Badness 2009 Sweet 16”


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