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Teed Off Thursday: Super Bowl, Peyton Manning & A Surprise

3-2-1…1-2-3…what the heck…is bothering me?  At least this week.

1) The Super Bowl halftime show is dead.

And by that, I mean literally dead.  Like one day, the act is just going to die on stage.  That’s how old they are.  The Who?  Seriously?  How many people under the age of 30 thought that the halftime show was just a bunch of grandpa’s on stage performing cover’s of CSI theme songs?  I know I did.  Up until 2 weeks ago I thought “who are you” was a CSI original.  I had no idea it was a full song.  And please don’t try and tell me that wasn’t part of CBS’s plan.

You could tell CBS knew how bad their halftime lineup was by the artists they chose to open the show with: Jay-Z and Rihanna.  Only their performance was pre-taped.  No surprises.  Though I still half expected Kayne West to interrupt Jay-Z and say, “Sorry Jay, I’mma let you finish, but Janet Jackson had one of the greatest Super Bowl performances of all times!”  And of course Janet is why nobody relevant is allowed to preform.  Could you imagine Lady Gaga at halftime?  Danger!  Danger!  But you know, it’s gotten so bad I’d settle for Carrie Underwood at this point.  That’s how desperate I am to be entertained by someone with a pulse.

2) I’m glad Peyton Manning didn’t shake Drew Brees’s hand.

Just like I’m glad that LeBron didn’t shake Dwight Howard’s hand (though I am absolutely thrilled that the media is giving Peyton a hard time just like LeBron).  These guys are paid to compete.  In no other line of work are people expected to congratulate their competitors.  If you got passed over for a job or promotion are you going to shake the guys hand?  If your company’s competitor put you out of business are you going to say, “good game”?  Right after it happens?  No, you’re going to be pissed, you’re going to stew, but you’re going to get over it.

What’s the rush?  Why does he have to shake hands immediately after the game?  Why can’t he have a couple of days to grieve, to be mad?  Isn’t that his right?  It’s not like he threw his helmet at Drew Brees, called him a cheater or “lucky” and then quit football.  He just didn’t want to be bothered.  And it’s not like it’s easy to fight through the wave of family, team staff and reporters all on the field suffocating the winning quarterback.  Would he even hear your congrats?  Would it be anything more than a show?  We just like to make powerful people dance for us, that’s what this is really about.  Well Peyton gets paid to dance in commercials, not for over-obsessive fans.

3) Not a damn thing.

I can’t really think of anything else that got my blood-a-boiling this week.  Seriously.  I thought about forcing it and getting teed off at something stupid, but you deserve better than that, and truthfully I don’t think I could fake it.  So if you’ll allow me, I’d like to actually take this time to give some praise.

I mean my son is just a dream, but then again he’s 9 month.  My nine year old stepson just joined a track team (my high school specialty) and chorus (encase my wife reads this), and more importantly is treating them both with the respect and responsibility they deserve.  Which I always knew he could do.  My wife is putting God first and is in much higher spirits (and we all know that a happy wife = a happy life).  Even my freaking dog has settled down a little (though he still pees inappropriately from time to time).  So I have no additional beefs this week.  God is good.

And if you’re angry because I didn’t rant about something here, then I’m angry that you can’t just be happy for somebody sometimes.  So congratu-f***in’-lations, you are my #3 a–hole.

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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