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Teed Off Thursday: Verizon, NBA Rankings & Racy Super Bowl Ads

3-2-1…1-2-3…what the heck…is bothering me?  At least this week.

1) We are not stupid Verizon.

Let me tell you a short little story.  Once upon a time Verizon wireless came out with an unlimited talk & text plan for $99.  But then their “inferior” competition, T-Mobile, released a unlimited talk & text plan at nearly half the price!  So to compete Verizon decided to drop their unlimited plan down to $69, but that wasn’t all they dropped.  They dropped the unlimited text messaging too.  If you want the unlimited texting, it will cost you $20, which shoots the plan back up to $89.  So all this grand advertising and marketing was for a mere $10 discount?

I’m not here to debate which provider is better, in my opinion they all suck.  But what I do know is that Verizon’s bait and switch advertising is insulting.  I understand you think your coverage and service are better than the rest, but then just f***in’ say so!  Don’t try and pretend you’re a bargain brand, just come out and say, “yea you’re gonna pay more with us, but you’re gonna get more too!”  You don’t see Bounty paper towels trying to pretend they’re cheap.  This sh*t is expensive!  But they tell you upfront.  I don’t buy them, but at least I respect their honesty.

2) Can we please stop ranking teams on a weekly basis.

I know that drooling lifeless fans want to know exactly where their teams rank every second of everyday and the media types are inclined to tell them — regardless of their lack of god-like all knowing powers — but can we be reasonable please?  Let’s ask the right questions.  Because the right question isn’t who is the playing the best right now, the right question is who is the favorite to win the championship right now?  Those are the ranking people should care about.  I really don’t care that the Chicago Bulls are on a hot streak today, because everybody knows good and well it’s not going to matter come April.

It is absolutely mind-boggling that the Charlotte Bobcats are ranked ahead of the Boston Celtics — and this coming from a Kobe fan like myself — in these rankings.  Who really believes that the Charlotte Bobcats are favored to win the East let alone a NBA championship over Kevin Garnett and the Celtics?  I know Hollinger does the Playoff Odds and all that stuff, but please don’t even get me started on his asinine formula.  Here are the ranking I want to see.  If you have to bet — today — on one team to win the championship or I kill you…who would it be?  And after that?  And after that?  Those are the only “rankings” that matter.

3) If Janet can’t show her nipples, then two guys can’t grope

Fair is fair.  If Janet Jackson cannot show her boobs, then this “alternative dating” site can’t show their boobs — meaning two men making out like goofballs.  I mean could you imagine the uproar CBS would receive if father’s trying to watch the greatest sporting event of the year with their young children had to explain why the hell two buddies were swapping spit with each other like horny teenagers?  Hell, my kids don’t even watch me make out like that with my wife!

But the point is, people need to chill the f*** out with all the whining and complaining.  CBS said no.  It’s their f***in’ station, and it’s their f***in’ problem when viewers complain about the over-sexuality of TV at 6pm est (3pm pst), so unless the website is going to pony up the fine money for CBS, maybe, just maybe they should leave this alone.  And this is not a message to gay people, this is a message for the website.  Shit, I’m black, but every now and again I am embarrassed by Al Sharpton’s whining and complaining.

**Update** The Washington Post hit the nail on the head, it’s not like this was a political ad to increase gay tolerance and advance important gay rights issues like say, serving openly in the military.  It’s a f***in’ exploitative dating site.  Next!

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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