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Teed Off Thursday: Holiday Cleanup, Marathons & NBA All-Stars

3-2-1…1-2-3…what the heck…is bothering me?  At least this week.
1) I hate cleaning up after the holidays.

How the hell are you suppose to get rid of a Christmas tree?  Can you be the a–hole who takes up two thirds of the dumpster in an apartment complex?  And if you put up lights, is it even worth taking them down for 300 days just to put them back up again?  Can’t you just turn them off?  These are the questions I hate to answer after the holidays.

Cleaning up after Christmas is usually the point when you realize there are 364 f—in’ days until Christmas and that sucks.  Of course that’s only if you actually clean up the day after Christmas, which nobody does.  So it’s really the day you realize there are 350 more days until Christmas, and that still sucks.

2) Nobody seems to understand “enjoy all good things in moderation.”

First the NBA gives us 12 straight hours of basketball on Christmas day, then college football goes ahead and runs two days worth of bowl games.  And this is after the NFL delivers 9 hours of football on Thanksgiving.  Do these executives think vacation means sitting your lazy a– on the couch all day?  People have things to do.  This is not just a weekend.  It’s bad enough I’m trapped watching marathons of Law & Order SVU, Criminal Minds and Burn Notice…now sports is doing it too?

Look, we all love our professional sports teams, but enough already!  NFL, you go back to two games (screw the NFL Network!) and NBA, please, a double header will do just fine.  There are only two marque match-ups a year anyway.  The Clippers and Suns rivalry lasted 7 games 3 years ago…get over it.  As for college football, START YOUR F—ING BOWL GAMES AFTER FINALS ARE OVER!  Please.  32 days is not a rest, it’s an off season.

3) An All-Star Game is a popularity contest jackass!

Why would fans spend time and money watching a meaningless game if their favorite players aren’t playing?  I don’t care how crisp Jose Calderon’s passes are nor what his PER is (thanks for the worthless stat Hollinger), I want to see Allen Iverson!  The mainstream public doesn’t turn out to Broadway unless there is a headliner, no matter how great the production is.  It is not about rewarding the players — that’s what contracts are for — it’s about rewarding the fans with a blockbuster lineup.

And last time I checked the fans only voted for 10 starters.  The snooty coaches vote for the other 14 spots.  Seems plenty fair to me.  You cannot have your cake and eat it too.  You have to share.  Contrary to popular belief, being “fair” has nothing to do with what “you” think is right.  It’s the result “we” compromise to.

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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