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Teed Off Thursday: Airport Security, College Coaches & David Letterman

3-2-1…1-2-3…what the heck…is bothering me?  At least this week.

1) Flying will be safe for the next month, but then what?

I love how everyone gets all uptight about flying after an attempted terrorist attack…for about a month.  I knew people in this country suffer from A.D.D., but I never thought it would apply to their own safety.  The best part is that people at LAX — one of the country’s busiest airports — were all calm and cooperative about the extra searches and flight delays when they thought their lives were on the line. But give it a week, they’ll all be back to their self-absorbed, impatient and pushy selves.

As for the terrorist themselves, well when you are willing to put explosives in your underwear the game has completely changed.  What if it wasn’t enough to take down the plane, only your genitals?  Any man willing to risk that is certainly committed to attacking our country.  So I have to ask, if someone is that committed can any amount of security really stop them or merely alter them?

2) Ethical and moral standards apply to coaches too

Why does Brian Kelly get praised for sh*tting on his team and his recruits at Cincinnati to pursue his personal and selfish endeavours, but the receiver or running back who tries to pad his stats and improve his draft stock is labeled as “uncoachable” and “immature.”  I understand this is his dream and the opportunity of a lifetime, but what happened to “team first.”

To convince his Cincinnati Bearcat players to “sacrifice” and give everything they have — day in and day out — and then bail on them after they do is completely unacceptable.  I don’t care what the circumstances are, Mr. Kelly (I can’t bare to call him “coach” at this point) owes it to these players to be on that sideline, Notre Dame job be damned.  In Be Cool John Travolta said , “if you’re important people will wait.”  In other words if Notre Dame wanted you, they’d wait a month.  I’ll tell you this, I wouldn’t trust Mr. Me-First with my kids.

3) David Letterman should be banned from telling Tiger Woods jokes

This pot isn’t just calling the kettle black, he’s calling it a n—– (No, he didn’t actually say that, it’s a metaphor…don’t pin this rumor on me).  I mean David didn’t exactly cover his infidelity tracks either, seeing as how he got blackmailed.  Furthermore, Tiger got caught cheating with a bunch of pseudo-celebs and models…David Letterman got caught cheating with the copygirl.  Forget the superficial comparisons and think about the fact that Letterman abused his authority with employees, which isn’t just morally wrong, but legally improper.  I’m not saying he could go to jail, but he could surely be sued.

I really don’t think this is a balloon Letterman should be sticking his pins in.  You pretty much forfeit your right to rib a dirty man when you are laying in mud.  And on a deeper note, how the hell can he make light of adultery in one breath and pledge to take it seriously in another?  Comedian or not, part of the job or not…Letterman should have passed on Tiger gate.  Wouldn’t taking a slight ratings hit have proven to his wife that he knows how wrong he was?  But then again we all expect Letterman to be a jerk, so I guess it’s all par for the course.

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