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Teed Off Thursday: Holiday Shopping, TMZ sports & Undefeated Seasons

3-2-1…1-2-3…what the heck…is bothering me?  At least this week.

1) I want customer service with my holiday cheer

Most stores tend to overstaff for the holidays, but not f—in’ Best Buy.  Trying to find a sales rep in Best Buy is like going on safari and by time someone gets around to helping you choose which camera or computer has the best features they’ll be obsolete.  And when you find one, there is always somebody there trying to jump ahead of you like, “I just have a quick question.”  Bullsh*t buddy, I will f—in’ cut you with a candy cane.

But at clothing stores there is always someone around to help you.  Even though you didn’t f—in’ ask for it.  Exactly what are they going to help you with?  This ain’t Jenny Jones, I didn’t come for a makeover.  I know the style and sizes of the people I’m shopping for or I wouldn’t be here jackass!  Now, Victoria Secret is another story.

2) Be careful what you wish for TMZ Sports

Some things go together like peanut butter and jelly, but gossip and sports isn’t one of them.  There is a reason you never see hardcore hip-hop heads like 50 Cent, Eminem and Jadakiss on TMZ.  No paparazzi at that devils playground has the balls to harass hood-folks with rude-ass questions, or crowd them when they are with their kids.  They will get knocked the f— out.

I’d love to see TMZ be obnoxious to Ron Artest, Jared Allen or Rasheed Wallace.  The Mike Tyson incident should have put the kibosh on this idea a month ago.  Plaxico Burress shot himself, you think he’d have any problem shooting paparazzi?  Sh*t, even Tom Brady’s people took shots at photograhpers invading his wedding.  Tom-f—in’-Brady…shooting?  You have no chance with Randy Moss.  None.

3) Losing is never good

I don’t understand how anyone can say “the New Orleans Saints losing is a good thing” with a straight face.  YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!  The logic that it’s better to get the loss out of the way early so you don’t lose a game “that matters” implies that there is some universal law that says everybody has to lose at some point.  Bullsh*t.  Just win.

How does losing a game get the monkey off your back?  If I’m wearing a bulletproof vest that stops 13 straight bullets and then one slips through, but doesn’t kill me, I’m not thinking, “glad to get that out of the way.”  I’m going to be thinking, “holy sh*t my vest doesn’t work!”  That sh*t isn’t a relief.  I understand that nothing breeds success like failure, but if you never fail…you are successful!

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